Forever
by PikaCheeka
Summary: GUNDAM 00 FIC. Heavy spoilers for episode 25. Allelujah. Partially a sequel to 'Protect Me'.


A/N – Written after seeing the raw of episode 25. Which completely and utterly devastated me. I had a bad feeling they would do that to Allelujah, but it still shocked me. Can't deal with it. Hallelujah. ;;

And don't give me crap about how the Tieria-lookalike with Lockon-hair might not be Tieria. I've heard the rumors. This is how I chose to interpret it. Oh, and I know this is the "wrong category", but until there is a Gundam 00 one, I'm putting them here. I've requested it several times already and nothing's been made.

The "Coda" is optional. Don't read it if you don't want to. I just NEEDED an optimistic ending, though I don't believe it will happen.

Vague sequel to "Protect Me".

Forever

By PikaCheeka

His hands were bandaged when I went to see him. Not because they were injured, but because he had ripped the right side of his face open for the third time in two days and they didn't know what to do with him anymore. He lay there quietly now, not only bandaged heavily but restrained, strapped down to the bed, staring out the window blankly. Staring at my reflection.

"Lockon."

"No, Allelujah." I touch his shoulder but he seems unaware. He keeps staring at my reflection. I know what he sees and I immediately regret my haircut. It was too cruel. I should have waited until he had recovered, at least. Until we all recovered.

"Lockon and Hallelujah."

"Alle, look at me."

"They're all gone. I'm alone now." He cracked a smile then, his lone eye shining with tears. "He said he'd never leave me. He said I was stuck with him, even if I hated him. I didn't hate him, though, not in the end."

I glanced around the room to be sure nobody was around and sat on the bed beside him, gently touching the left side of his face and tilting his head towards mine. "I'm right here, Alle."

"Lockon…have you seen Hallelujah?"

"Tieria. I'm Tieria." I touched his face again and pointed to my glasses, not knowing if it was getting through to him at all. "Do you remember me? It's just us now." I was your partner, damnit. I know I was an ass to you but it was because I cared about you. Don't you dare forget me. I will never forgive you. Don't you leave me like the rest of them.

He jerked his head to the side, not away but closer, pushing his cheek into my hand. "I miss him. I was supposed to protect him. He always protected me. I…can't find him."

"It's okay, Alle. He's still with you. He's a part of you, he always was." I stroked his cheek, unsure of what to say. He wouldn't believe it, couldn't. Whether he was utterly mad and had made everything up, or if Hallelujah really had existed, nobody could ever know. But he was real to him, real enough for him to fight with him, real enough for him to fall in love. I had heard enough of their arguments over the years to know.

"He didn't want to. He didn't want to. I didn't listen. I killed him. Killed them all." He was crying again, but he was crying in such an exhausted, empty manner it seemed unreal. "Killed myself."

I didn't answer for a long time. It was a miracle he survived at all, but after three days in the hospital he had calmly gotten up and wandered the halls until he found a scalpel. Ripped his chest open. He was found sitting on the floor laughing, peeling the skin off, digging his fingers into his own flesh, asking repeatedly where his heart went, where his Hallelujah went. He couldn't kill himself because he believed himself to be already dead.

That was a week ago. He had been moved to emergency ward, only to try to claw his face open. And now he had been reduced to this. Setsuna was still missing in action. Nobody else had contacted me. We were presumed dead. There was nothing left for us. Nothing but the two of us. A madman and an android, neither of us capable of comforting the other.

I knew I shouldn't touch him, knew he was seriously injured, but I had to. I slipped my arm around his shoulders and pulled him close, as carefully and gently as I was able, unlocking one arm restraint as I did. He immediately jerked his hand up and touched my chest. "Ti…eria."

"Yes. Tieria. And Allelujah." I heard my voice crack as I said it, but I hardly cared. I just wanted him back. I wanted Allelujah back. And hearing my name on his lips after nearly two weeks was almost too much to bear. A recognition that I was alive, that he was alive, that we were not two ghosts of the dead just hovering in this world.

"He said he'd protect me, said he'd be there…forever. He didn't protect me against this. And this…" he trailed off, too confused to go on, his eye searching mine. He was still beautiful, still with that distracted and fragile look, but it was hollow now. No longer so much secretive as it was simply empty. And the longer I looked at him the more I wanted to believe what I thought I saw was real. A ring of gold surrounding his pupil, between the grey and the black. But I couldn't be sure. I didn't dare say a word, lest I be lying, lest I drive him over the brink into complete madness, if he were not already there.

I remembered all the times I had hit him, insulted him, called him unworthy, even tried to shoot him. We were the first two Meisters, the first two and the last two. He had driven me wild with rage, but I could not stand the thought of anyone else ever touching him, ever being cruel to him. I had been jealous of Hallelujah. But now he was gone. And now that he was gone, Allelujah was slipping away just as quickly. I knew if I didn't get across to him soon, he would fade, nothing but a catatonic corpse on a hospital bed until they gave up and pulled the plug and he finally died. It was all he wanted, after all.

I touched his face again, squeezing his shoulder and leaning over him. He seemed so small, though he was taller and older than I was. "Allelujah. They're not here anymore. Lockon and Hallelujah. They're _dead_."

His eye widened for a second, then flickered shut, his lashes wet with tears. "No."

Anything was better than his confused hallucinations. "They're dead. And you can search for them all you want and keep ripping your body apart but you will not find them. You can give up and die or you can live for them. Hallelujah died protecting you. He'd kill you all over again if you let yourself just die without him."

Please, please listen. Because I can never say what I feel, can never admit that I am wanting you to live for my own selfish reasons.I can protect you as long as you protect me. I can't promise it. Lockon promised, Hallelujah promised, and everything breaks in the end. So I will not promise you, will never say the words lest they fail and break you further. But I will promise myself that I shall protect you forever.

: Coda :

"Tieria, you were always a bitchy ass," he muttered after a long moment, resting his head on my shoulder and sighing.

I didn't answer. I couldn't, not when I was so surprised. Because those words were not Allelujah's. I only had to wonder how long it would take him to realize. Realize what Hallelujah had said to him. Realize what forever meant.


End file.
